its late

its late. I cannot sleep. I have to be at work early in the morning and I am not happy about this. This happens to me about once a month or so. Tonight is special though. i seriously think the spirit is not letting me sleep. almost like a man quietly, simply, unappologeticly shaking me every so often. I am wrestling with real contentment in the Lord. There is also a girl that I want to leave my head but wont. so i am praying that God have his way with these paths. my mom showed me a picture of a girl she wants me to meet and it stirred something deep inside me, and in typical fashion for me, it will be a slow mulling over process until i can even identify the emotion I feel. I thank God sometimes that even though my mind may be a different story, my emotions and my heart move very slowly, but quite forcefully. I began to worry about having money to have a family one day. worrying about teaching offspring about the creator. worrying about screwing it all up. amazing how one pretty face can stir these thoughts. i know yall have these. 2 corin 4 18 says to not worry about the seen, for it is the unseen that is eternal. God please drill this into my head. heart too. i dont want many things. I dont want to be attached to this world. I want to be happy with a bed, some food, freinds and family. good work to do. its funny. I dont feel christmas anymore. except in a sudden wave of emotion that might be set off by some trigger. like 'a charlie brown christmas' special. I think that brought me to God way back in the day when Linus says humbly..."I can tell you what christmas is all about Charlie brown." (Bettwy, bury me in blue grass just came on my computer radio...no kidding... and dave matthews Christmas song came on earlier) those songs we used to listen to in bed in whoppahouse late at night when bettwy slept under my bed. There is a lot going on right now in the unseen world.

to me yall are more than just people

Wheeler