Miami weekend was great, brothers...I know I wasn't actually in Blacksburg to see the game, but little did we know that thousands of miles to the East, there was a game of immense importance waged between the English and the Finance Departments of Hebei College of Finance. Not only did I have the pleasure of being a part of this intense struggle for football immortality, but I was also honored with being the starting sweeper for the English Department!
The Finance department was the vaunted opponent on this overcast Thursday afternoon, set to play the role of refined, regimented, uniformed Goliath to our "Sandlot", "Squints" Paldorous-kissing-his-lifeguard, throwing up on the twirl-a-whirl while swallowing chewing tobacco David...they had defeated their first two opponents, 17-3, and seemed poised for another blow out. Vince had little faith that we would win.
"If we win this game," he posed before our match, thinking of the most outlandish threat imaginable, "I will become a (hr'$+/@^."
I paused at Vince's threat, then said in an insincere, yet ponderously upward-lifting tone, "Okay...I'll 'lift' that up for you."
The game began with the Finance Department kicking off, intentionally giving us the ball as a sign of friendship and acknowledging us as the "lesser" team in the competition. I recognized this as more of an insult than a sign of respect and honor. I gave three reasons for this reaction to the gesture:
1. I am American with bred American pride
2. I'm a Whoppahead
3. I lived with Wheeler for twelve months of my life.
Either way, I was touched with the tinge of tenacity, which thrust me to an athletic fury that saw shots which rivaled only the biggest Beckham ball game and Rinaldino ricochet. In actuality, I only had two shots on goal in this game, but our team did play brilliantly. Nearing the end of the first half, which saw many scoring chances for both teams, our enter forward, Henry (#5) got loose in a one-on-one with the keeper only a few feet from the goal. Shifting his body weight to the left, he baited the keeper to go with him, only to leave the ball off his right foot, just out of the reach of the keeper's flailing legs. Our team had drawn first blood...but knew well as the half drew to a close that we were far from finished.
"We're only a lucky shot away from this being tied," Jon, my roommate and Newly-Anointed Keeper of the Ring...uh, I mean goal, he's the goalie, the keeper of the goal and has exactly as much experience before entering this tournament at said position as Sean Glennon's estimated NFL starts at QB: zero.
"At least I know I can't get hurt playing goalie," Jon said. My mind instantly recalled the pictures immortalized on the "Wall of Pain" in the Willard House living room of Matt Walker and the clenched-jaw aftermath of his "not getting hurt" while playing goalie for FC Whoppa.
"Uh, just don't be too careful," I told Jon, rushing back into reality.
So, things were looking up/ lucky for our team going into the second half. There were a fair number of "Jia you, peng you!" (literally, "add oil," but also meaning "Let's go, friends!") chants emitted into the collective ears of my teammates during the next 35-minute half as we continued to feel the heat. I felt like it was FC Whoppahead all over again, except this time without the awkward-looking slips and strange positions I ended up getting into when trying to play defense against people who REALLY knew what they were doing. They controlled the ball most of the second half, but our defense stacked in tight and continued forcing tough shots and deflecting would-be saves for corner kicks. Jon made a few great saves and we ended up keeping them at bay until, with about 10 minutes left in the game, Henry received a cleared ball at midfield with only one defender back. He juked the defender for one move, then dumped the ball into the left corner of the goal box, running parallel with the defender step-for-step. When they reached the ball, Henry gained control, only to be dragged to the ground in a heap of man, reminiscent of a post-Hokie-TD dog pile in Lane. The ref blew the whistle and we'd earned a pk. Henry stepped up, brushed off some dirt, and promptly punched home the second goal of the game. We were winning, 2-0, with minutes left. The rest of the game was chippy, with a few fouls called on both teams. Our team cleared a few corner kicks and finally ended with a tough 50/50 ball that Jon punched out before colliding with the Finance's center-forward. The referee blew the three "tweets" indicating our 2-0 victory!
Life's living well, brothers. Ask for discipline, faith, and for thanksgiving.
Whoppa' What!
Bettwy
ps-- There's one "Perfect" shot where the guy shoots from the top of the TX A&M stadium and makes it into a hoop on the field...nasty stuff.
I bought a motorcycle!
FC English Department
In-game action versus Finance.
